Good ol' weekend!

Okay, so i think it was thursday that i was grounded. I'm not supposed to be on the computer, but luckily stephanie let me get on here to check my facebook and read her blog, which i have done. (Both of them.) I'm probably not supposed to be on here right now because stephie gave me a half an hour to do those two things. I felt like writing on my blog, so i will do it while she's asleep. Yeah, I know she's probably reading this, but hey, who can blame me!!

Funny thing about the whole grounding situation! You see, i wan't grounded because of my grades (Which i am very proud of at the moment because i think i gots all A's.) and i wasn't grounded for something bad that i did, (Because I'm such an Awesome child!!). I was grounded for a reason no child would ever do if they weren't me. I was groudned because i made stephanie ground me. I wanted to read more! I know, why the heck would ANY child want to be grounded just to read. Well, you see thats is the problem. I'm not just any child. I AM ME!! I am different than any child. I am a child like no other!! Who agrees with me?? ☻ You know that I am a different child, because i am actually enjoying my grounding! I am enjoying reading. I missed the thrill of finishing a book and wanting to start another! I LOVE IT!!! ♥♥

I finished the book 'the host' By Stephanie Meyer (is that how you speell her name???) Now, look at the title again. I know i usually dont capitalize the words that i am supposed to, but this time I did that on purpose because that is how it is on the cover and the side. No capitalization in the title wich i kind of find amuzing! I love that! Stephanie Meyer is an amazing Author! I LOVE HER BOOKS!! She is just the kind of author that i Love. She writes each of her books perfectly! and I love it... The book was freaking AMAZING!! Lots of action, and romance, and suspense... Ugh, those kind of authors just make me so giddy inside! I Loves it! Now I am reading another book by her, The last book of the Twilight Saga! VERY EXCITED! Stephanie decided that i was mature enough to read it. And i am enjoying very much!

Okay, If any guys are reading this, STOP NOW!!!! The next part is VERY FUNNY! but its just between us girls. Now, make sure you are away from the computer and you don't read the next part. You can if you want too, but you know, i would recommend you don't!

Anyway, Last night Stephanie and I were making supper and we were talking about Breaking Dawn. She leaned over to me and said, "Now, do we need to have the whole talk about the Birds and the Bees?" "No, I already talked about that stuff with mom." she nodded and said "Okay, but did she tell you Everything?" i looked at her. "Yes." She shrugged. "Okay, did she tell you that if you make muffins before your married you turn into an Antelope?" I looked at her. "She didn't tell you Everything did she?" I laughed and shook my head "No, Aparently not."That's what i Thought!" she said. Then i looked at her. and said, "You know, I wouldn't mind being an antelope. I would be walking and then i would be like-" And i posed like a jumping deer. We both laughed. She said "Oh, did i say Antelope? I meant Anteater. You'll be Ugly and you'll eat ants!" We laughed. "You know, If you come home some time with you're friends and you're an antelope, I'll know what happened!" she told me. I Laughed and said, "Yeah, I would be getting out of the car and you would look out the window and i would look at you and be like-" then i posed as a jumping deer again. "Yeah, you'd say, 'I'm Completly innocent! I just turned into an Antelope for no reason!" Tehehehehe....

Well, SNL is on now. Gwenyth Paltro ( I think that is her name) is hosting and Cee Lo is musical guest! Imma go watch that now!! PEACE OUT PEEPS!! and have an awesome weekend!!

A. Joy ♥

P.S. I love the weekend!!!

Another Stupid Day

Okay so at this very moment i am wiping away tears from my cheeks...I cry very easily and I hate it. It Kind of makes me angry when im like in bed and thinking about stuff and i start bawling my head off. It's actually quite annoying.

Anyway, If you read my blog last night, you would have read about the brother-sister bond that i long to have with my brothers. I have come to realize that I do have a kind of Brother-sister bond with my brothers but it's just a different kind of bond. My stepmom has made me realize that-Even though i practiacally worship my brothers in every way, at the moment they will never really show that they are really proud of me (If they even are) until maybe when we grow up and they mature a little more. Right now i pray to god that maybe when we're adults we will be closer, and they actually will talk to me without yelling at me. And i can Be patient enough to wait.

Well, lately i've been really emotional. And you know I don't really enjoy it. I don't really enjoy crying every day. I just don't. I don't enjoy wanting to pour my heart out to someone, but afraid their going to criticize me, so i pour my heart out on paper, then hide it. I've done that so many times in the recent past. At the moment I'm pretty sure I am going through a phase of "Do I want to be a good person who does what she's told and is polite to everyone that she can be? (Brothers included)" Or "Do i want to one of those girls that everyone hates because i never listen to anyone and is always a Poo head to everyone." I, of course, would really like to be the first person. To be nice to everyone. I promised my stepmom that I would try my best not to fight with her all the time and not listen. Sometimes i really feel like i want to do that, but I haid it and do what I'm told so I don't get in trouble. That is why I do everything I am told. And respect my parents! At the moment i am just REALLY tired of getting yelled at because when I get yelled at, my parents scare the crap out of me. And to my parents, That is why i cry my head off every time you yell at me. So, for future refrences, It is because i am EXTREMLY sorry for what I did, But one of the biggest parts of it is because I'm scared.

On a happier Note, I am kind of Happy right now. I'm happy because I am working on perfecting my Chair test for band. I'm not happy about the Chair test in general (They make me really angry) but i am happy that i have a whole weekend to perfect it. And if i don't turn it in on monday, i still have twodays to perfect it. It is due on Wednesday, and wednesday is a long way away for the time being. My goal for this chair test is to chrush my best friend and take her spot as second chair. Or even maybe crush Matthew Haskins, and take first chair! I'm readyfor a freaking change in the seating!! It's always been- Matthew as First chair, Mckayla and second, Adam Moore as third and then someone else. I'm ready to change that... Have it- Either Me or Adam as First Chair, Or me as Second Chair. Matthew as Third (Or Mckayla) and Either Mckayla or Matthew as Fourth. I just really want some change in the front row... I just thought about something...Something that would REALLY stink would be if i got lower thatn Fourth chair. Man That would suck..

Well, On that happy thought, I'm going to go eat something then go practice until i cant stand to practice anymore! Well I guess a Late happy new year to everyone!

A. Joy! ♥

My heros

Last night, I really didn't feel like reading at one point, so i decided i was going to write a poem! As i was writing this poem I bawled my head off. I cry when i think about stuff that means a lot to me, so therfor i started crying. I've decided that I'm going to share this poem with the people who happen to read my blog today! Well, Here goes nothing!

"My Hero"

By Aria Joy Salisbury

I look at you and think, "Hero"

You look at me and think, "Pest"

I look at you and see, "The Best"

You look at me and see, "An Interupption"

I think so much of you,

You think so little of me,

I think you could do anything,

You think I'm the worst at everything.

To Me, you're a Role Model

To you, I'm nothing

To me, You're the perfect older brother

To you, I'm just your little sister

I want you to actually think comething of me,

I want you to look at me and think "Sucsess!"

I want you to hug me, and actually be proud of me,

I want you to think i could do anything

You hate to be around me,

I love to spend time with you

You do everything for me because you're forced,

I just wish you would do it willingly

I just want you to know, I admire you in every way,

In my eyes you're everything

I want to be as good at everything as you are

To me, You're my Hero.

This poem is dedicated to my two older brothers! This was triggered by a book that i am reading at the moment. The book it called, "Witch and Wizard: The Gift" By James Patterson. The two main characters of this book are a brother and a sister, Whit and Wisty. I know that they are jsut fictional characters but their relationship that they have, I don't have any words for it. I want that relationship! I admire them and their relationship! I wish i could have the kind of relationship, that Wisty has with her older brother, with my older brothers. I know, you're probably thinking, "What is she talking about? What is their relationship like?" Well, I'll give you an example. At the moment in the book, "Wisty" is supposed to be executed. WHit is narrating this one part. "There's a flash- not of light but of somehow blackness- and she is gone. Wisty. My little sister. My best friend in the world....." In the next chapter he goes on to say, "If I'm still drawing in air, it's not because i care about living. The last person of the Allgood family that I knew for certain to be alive, the person who knew better than anyone else in the world, the person who looked up to me in everything, is gone. What an incredable waste of an inceredable life...."

Now, from my perspective, I'm pretty sure if i died at this very moment and my parents told my brothers, that they would be sad then go on to something else, because they are probably to busy with Video games at the moment. They wouldn't stop and think, "Wow, Aria is gone. The one that looked up to me in everything, The one who know me better than anyone else in the world. My best friend. My little sister." Yeah, I know I'm probably excadurating this sistuation a little to much really, But some times, I just wish they would think something like that. I know that I don't know my brothers better than anyone else in the world. I know that I'm not their best friend. I know that at the moment, they don't really care about me. And yeah, I know, I'm not going to die at this very moment, or anytime soon. So don't worry. The only thing i really would like that would compare, even just a little bit, to whit and wistys relationship, Is a good Brother,sister bond with my brothers. I would just want them to actually be around me sometime

Now, i know my brothers are probably going to end up readin this entry in my blog. I just want to say to,them if they do, I don't want to force them to have a good reltionship with me. I enjoy fighting with them sometimes. But sometimes, when they yell at me, it really hurts, and they have no idea how much it hurts. And all this is just my imagination at work. Me imagining that i have a good relationship with my brothers. All this stuff is stuff that i really want, but i'm not going to force ANYONE to do. Maybe, just by writing this, i might change my whole relationship with my brothers. On the other hand, Probably not. Now for the Poem, all that stuff about the "You think," and "When you look at me" stuff is just from my perspective. It may not all be true, but from where i stand, it is. Every thing that i wrote, about me thinking. Well, Thats all true. That is all that i think! Now i have a bunch of other things floating around in my head about this and i just dont know how to write it. So for now I'm going to stop.

To Michael and Zachary, If you're reading this, I just want to tell you that I love and admire you in every way. Everything that i think about you is in the poem.

A. Joy ♥